Tell me a joke

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OXO
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Tell me a joke

Postby OXO » Fri Apr 08, 2011 10:05 pm

Let's have a joke thread. I'll start it off:

A wife asks her husband, a software engineer;
"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have eggs, get six!"
A short time later the husband comes back with six cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy six cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had eggs."
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Strider69
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby Strider69 » Sat Apr 09, 2011 1:25 am

Not sure that i have any jokes that could be posted here without being banned. :lol: :lol:
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David R
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby David R » Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:02 pm

Talking about chapped lips!

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Last edited by David R on Mon Apr 11, 2011 9:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby Strider69 » Sun Apr 10, 2011 8:18 pm

News from the middle east:-

1500 Egyptians have entered Jordan.
She say's she will try for more tomorrow.
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Are computers males or females

Postby bodybeer » Sat Apr 16, 2011 4:51 pm

OXO wrote:Let's have a joke thread. I'll start it off:

A wife asks her husband, a software engineer;
"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have eggs, get six!"
A short time later the husband comes back with six cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy six cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had eggs."


Are computers males or females? You decide.
TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE:
5. They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment. 4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you've established a network connection. 3. They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't do more than they have to and they won't think of it on their own. 2. They're typically obsolete within five years and need to be traded in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already invested so much in the damn machine that they're compelled to remain with an under powered system. 1. They get hot when you turn them on, and that's the only time you have their attention.

FIVE REASONS COMPUTERS MUST BE FEMALE: 5. No one but their creator understands their logic. 4. Even the smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference. 3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 2. The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you." 1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

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Dave M
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby Dave M » Thu Apr 21, 2011 7:48 pm

Six out of seven dwarfs arn't Happy :D :D
Last edited by Dave M on Sat Apr 23, 2011 12:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sprunga
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby Sprunga » Sat Apr 23, 2011 9:51 am

I used to be dyslexic but I am K.O. now
REGO: VH-SPR
C/N#: S72

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Strider69
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby Strider69 » Sat Apr 23, 2011 2:24 pm

And i always thought it was Deslyxic :lol: :lol:
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby BA » Sat Apr 23, 2011 9:51 pm

If you' re dyslexic and your name is OTTO RADAR, it may be easier for you to name your daugther ANNA. :wink:
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby Strider69 » Sat Apr 23, 2011 10:07 pm

Basil Fawlty (RCB)

P-MONKE
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby P-MONKE » Wed Apr 27, 2011 3:55 pm

aibohphobia - the fear of palindomes! :lol:

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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby Strider69 » Wed Apr 27, 2011 6:21 pm

Popophobia; Fear of listening to Amy Whine-house :lol: :lol:
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SteveK
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby SteveK » Tue May 31, 2011 9:07 pm

A Duck goes into a bar.

Duck: "Got any bread?"
Barman: "No - sorry, we're a bar. We don't serve food. We don't have any bread."
The Duck dejectedly waddles out.

Next day the duck is back.
Duck: "Got any bread?"
Barman: "I told you yesterday, we are a bar. we do not do food. We do not have any bread!"
The duck leaves again.

But the next day the duck returns.
Duck: "Got any bread?"
Barman: "Look, We will never have any bread - we are a bar - we serve drinks. Now quack off and stop annoying my other customers!"
The duck leaves.

The next day the duck waddles back in again.
Duck: "G...."
The barman cuts in "Look if you ask me if I have any bread, I'll nail your beak to the counter!"
Duck: "Got any Nails?????"

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Strider69
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby Strider69 » Thu Jun 02, 2011 1:19 pm

Just have a look at this, Only problem is. It's not a joke.
C'mon get voting Woohoo.
http://www.next.co.uk/model-competition ... dgek9j984/
:lol: :lol:
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Freebird
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby Freebird » Thu Jun 02, 2011 5:11 pm



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